I want my daughter to NOT be a feminist but to be fiercely independent and courageous!
(For now- she does her own shopping (bought wipes for her doll) and orders her own food! I AM SERIOUS!)
Here, I am being all ambitious about wanting to make my daughter a fire ball!
PS: I don’t like the world “feminism!” I am all for “humanism” & “independence to choose and the strength to stick it out”
Disclaimer: this blog is not about how to make your daughters a feminist! It’s everything but that!
I come back home from work and my little girl runs towards me with her arms spread out all ready to hug me tight and I quickly go down on my knees to squeeze her into my arms!
She quickly plants a kiss on my lips and I kiss her back!
We stay in each other’s arms for good couple of minutes before I pick her and stand up and she cups my face in her hands and gives me another kiss😍
My day’s most precious moments! SIGH!
A couple of hours later, after her dinner, we walk up to our bedroom and we sit and “CHILL”!
Our “CHILL SESSIONS” are inclusive of books and rhymes and discussing our day with each other!
Yes, my 2.5 year old little girl knows all about my work profile and my boss and we discuss my day as well!
Then she says something which takes me by shock-
“Deepa Mumma today Badi Mumma (grandmother) told me to not kiss or let any one kiss me. She said only Mumma is allowed!”
I listened to her and tried to fathom what the little girl just told me and with a lot of effort I kept my head from bursting and quietly put her to bed!
I was fuming at my mother for this piece of information that she has imparted to my daughter today!
I decided to confront her after my daughter goes to sleep!
30 minutes later, my daughter was fast asleep and I was in tears!
The 30 minutes that had passed had taken my anger along and had left me with a feeling of despair and left me weeping!
Sadly, my mother is right!
The sickening world we live in, all my energies are going to be focused at protecting my daughter!
I am going to accompany her to all her activities, clubs, and even pick and drop her from school! I am going to make sure that she is never left alone at home with the nanny and I plan on installing CCTVs and cameras in my house and car as well!
You know just in case! Am I sounding like a psychopath to you! Well so be it!
I am going to be investing all my energies in figuring out ways to keep her safe!
In my attempt to do so, am I going to turn myself into my daughter’s stalker and will she in turn be reduced to a girl with a disability of dependency!
Dependency is not a bad thing but when that dependency comes as a default setting and not something that’s been earned, then, DEPENDENT is the WORST status to live with!
What I want is for her to be a woman of substance, a woman who is strong on her own!
The million dolllar question however is, HOW???
The most basic criteria to achieve what I want my daughter to becomes is to leave her alone and watch her from a safe distance so that she can figure her personality and life out!
But, the safe distance is not safety enough in the world that we live in!
AND SO, what do I choose?
Safety Of course!!!
But safety now with a resultant “no Independence and strength in her character” scenario makes her vulnerable in her adulthood and endangers her safety as an adult!
So now you tell me,
Which one do I pick?
Note: stop running after the fancy “feminism!” Please look after the basics first and be Humane!