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Marriage Boot Camp-1 (The Ghee-Treaty)

Image source-Googleimage source-google (how I wish I had a picture from that day/only if I had known……that donkey years later I would talk of…..that day that was!!!

Donkey years ago…

A Jaat girl and a Punjabi boy decided to become a permanent itch to each other!

(Jaat and Punjabi are two of those 3000 odd Castes in India)🙈😱

The only way possible is: TIE THE KNOT!

And they did! They did knot each other’s necks but the point here was they are madly in love with each other!

Now, 8 months into the wedlock….

It’s Deepawali (the biggest and most celebrated festival of India/festival of lights)!

Deepawali’2011

They are alone at home as the family is traveling and they have offered to stay back as the ritual has it-

On Deepawali you don’t lock your houses! Like come what may! It is believed that on this day, Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of THE RICHES) comes to your house and if the house if locked it would clearly not enter the house”

Whatever happened to the powers of the Gods and Goddesses to overcome anything on this planet!

Besides, who would take a chance!We all want money and then more money!

Money as they say isn’t God but it isn’t less than God either!

(I love how it sounds in Hindi so here goes a HINDI version of the above mentioned sentence-Paisa Bhagwaan nahi hai par bhagwaan sey kamm bhi nahi hai)

Disagree much???? I don’t think so!!!

Getting back on track-

Since they were alone at home and all the cooks and other help were also off to their villages to celebrate the festival with their families, the girl decided to cook!

She and cooking are like a lion befriending a goat! This is a sight seen only in children’s bed time stories!

She nevertheless went ahead and gave it a shot!

By the way, that Jaat girl’s cooking skills are just enough to sail through forsaken times 🤪

Sigh!

Mum comes to her rescue! What’s new in that!

So, she over phone follows her mum’s instructions and prepares what her mum would prepare each Deepawali in her house (parental home)!

After toiling for 2 hours in the kitchen in that hot and humid weather,

(Husband offered to help and the best way he can help is to STAY as far AWAY FROM her as he possibly can as his culinary skills suck just as much as her’s)!

The girl walks out of the kitchen with huge bowls of kheer (sweetened milk and rice pudding) and Aatey ka halwa (is there an English for that at all 🤔/it is basically a dessert where you drown wheat flour in ghee/clarified butter and add mugs of sugar to it).

PS: Key word is- DROWN EVERYTHING IN GHEE AND SUGAR!!!

Just what she had done to the T!

The table was set with the husband eagerly awaiting the food!

Slowly, he picked the lids off the dishes with kheer and halwa….

Tasted them both and the girl could tell by the look on his face….

This woman is a genius! She is a superwoman!

First attempt at kheer and halwa (apparent delicacies and tough ones to pull off at that) and here she had aced it in the very first go)

She was mighty impressed with herself!

Hold on ……

Here is what happened next….

The husband (punjabi spoke)-

Kheer and Halwa are really nice but…

But what🙄

Where is the food????

Hell what!!!

Had he turned blind or had the food laden table become invisible???

He is a very smart man! He knew he had eff-ed up some where!

Treading the path very carefully, he then said-

“This is dessert! Where are the mains?”

She looked at his face, eyes wanting to slam into his and then the bolt of lightening struck her! It dawned onto her and She burst out laughing!”

She laughed until her ears started to ache and with eyes all watery with all fit of laughter, she broke it down for him-

“Darling THIS IS FOOD! This is pallete cleanser, mains as well as dessert”

He stared at her as if She were speaking Latin!

She then told him about how Jaats eat Halwa and kheer for every celebration!

Because Jaats are looking for reasons to drown themselves in Ghee and Sugar!

Hahahahaha….

However, The poor punjabi husband was expecting some masala and tadka (spices deep fried to enhance their flavour! Because spicier the merrier)!!!

Do you want to know how the evening and more importantly the dinner ended?

Are you naive’ or foolish?

Of course it ended the Jaat way!

Women rule! Don’t you know that yet!

They ate kheer and halwa for dinner!

And for lunch the next day as well😈😈

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husband has finally signed the Ghee-Treaty!!!

Thus-

(New quote by me (Aka Deepa Suhag))

Marriage is like a boot camp, wherein THE Wife is the Instructor and the Husband is enrolled in the boot camp FOR LIFE😈🤪